Climate Change Morons Invade London

Think of London after dark. Moped banditos, machete honchos, steak knifers looking for ribs.

Millions of hard-working peoploids hopping
through a human sewer of multi-culti chaos. Exhausted, clean-living wage-donkeys grabbing a five-quid sandwich and a six-quid pint on the way home to bolt the door on the rabbit-hutch that keeps rape at bay but costs half their salary.

It's bloody well hard enough to get by but now you can't get home / across town / a drink because every last spare inch is 'occupied' by bored unemployable spoiled-brat climate-change poseurs who want to mock your attempt to survive by dancing in the gutters you are struggling to stay out of.
Because they can afford it. Armed with their toilet-paper 'degrees' in gender-pants and eco-flam.

Rebels without a claw, so rebellious they ain't got time to make their beds in mummy's basement. Stoned, dumb, semi-literate slackers, chanting like slaves, mouths gaping with infantile joy.
      'Look Mama! I made a poo poo!"

Shouting at the TV cameras and taking selfies. Howling their virtue to their Instagram clones and fingering their cammo pants at every dozen likes. An anal-retention army of dullard sheep.

Oh, the originality of the Climate Change panic. The sky is falling! Odin is angry! The Gods will punish you for sinning! Isis demands a sacrifice!

I had really got bored with class war, but these eco-droogs put me back in touch with my inner water-cannon. Hose the reeking buggers off the street.

Think of London when the sun comes up. Police too busy with climate cretins to arrest the killers prowling the dirty streets. More garbage on the dirty streets. Another tidal wave of abandoned vegan-latte styrofoam cups. Another soggy heap of crass, virtuous placards, chucked in the dirty streets where Londoners live.

Thankyou, eco-warriors. You made a shit-hole shittier.
Tell facebook what a hero you are.
Text your 'friends'.
Check notifications.
Check the mirror.
Repeat.

Don't worry, mum and dad will die and you can live off the money they earned.
You deserve their money coz you saved the fucking planet, didn't you?

Yeah.

Ian Andrew-Patrick