BORIS JOHNSON: MAN OF 1000 FACES

If 1000 pictures show Boris doing something simple, is Brexit not a thing he can do? After all
, Boris says he can do Brexit. Indeed, he claims he will do Brexit. But nothing in the life and times of Prime Minister Johnson suggests that his actions bear any resemblance to his words. This is a man for our times -a shallow, narcissistic goon who thinks he grows stronger with every selfie. Since his forced entry to number 10, not a day has passed without both a staged photo and a strident declaration that Brexit will happen on October 31st, deal or no deal. What are we to believe?

I will suggest that regardless of what happens (unless he has been removed) the PM will, on November 1st, announce that "Brexit Is Official!" I will further suggest that nothing substantive will have changed at all, and that the 'anything-but-a-Brexit' waltz will skip merrily into 2020, with Westminster resonating as normal with the sound of its collective raspberry to the British people.

Expect yet more photographs, five a week at least, to be crafted for the Johnson family scrapbook. Given the vacuum that exists where government used to be, it's no surprise the last-gasp 'newspaper' websites are reduced to pushing the National Theatre of PM Johnson. We -the passive, unthinking, smart-phone clutchers formerly known as the electorate- are supposed to pay attention. Behold, proles! Bojo is pulling a pint. BJ is yanking a bull. Boris is down among the cops. The Borosaurus is out and about, every day a new quip, a new photo-opportunity.

And yet, there is something old, faintly sad, about the whole charade. Having wasted twenty years  creeping on his belly towards Downing Street, you can already see the glaze of disappointment in  Johnson's eyes. 

I'm afraid, sir, the job comes with a script as well as a throne. 

Like Blair, Brown, Major, Cameron and May, Boris has learned the dreadful truth, heard the final punchline, found the rotten apple at the top of the greasy pole : the role of British Prime Minister is an empty suit, and his orders come from far away. Far away being the central banks and globalist pirates who bought Britain cheap in the post-Thatcher sales. When your country has become a "colony" of a distant power, the PM is a servant, not a master. (To read about Britain as a colony, CLICK HERE)

But the show must go on. The professional lie-scribblers will persist in turning Downing Street press releases into headlines and loyally deconstruct the 'statements' of every quacking quisling from left, right and centre, as if they meant anything, as if this whole game-show was reality. 

Meanwhile it's business as usual for Johnson, a mediocrity who never outgrew the desperate insecurities that drove him to conduct his entire life on on the front pages of newspapers that almost nobody reads. How can you lead when you have nowhere left to go? It would be hard to imagine a creature so useless pretending to be a national leader if we hadn't already met David Cameron.

When viewed through the prism of his own gargantuan ego, Johnson's shrill insistence that he, the anointed one, will absolutely deliver Brexit November first, makes perfect sense now that he knows for certain it cannot be done. This way, he hopes to escape his

rightful place in the dustbin of political history by posing as 'the man who wanted Brexit' when in reality there is nothing he wants less. When he, in his  turn, is heaved out of number 10 and Brexit dwindles into a dream that we can barely remember, Johnson will deliver instead a three-volume autobiography explaining just how terrifically principled he really was, in case we had any doubts.

Leave plenty of space for it, and its successors, on the shelf where you put David Cameron's doorstep of whingeing drivel. By 2030 there will be another twelve ex-Prime Ministers explaining in bold print why the Brexit they wanted never quite happened. (The real reason is explained HERE)   

Or you can console yourself by looking at the pictures of everything else they did instead.

    

Ian Andrew-Patrick