Return of the Doom Goblins :World Economic Forum



 

It's a short hop nowadays from Christmas to Doomsday. Just when you're thinking winter can't get any more cruel, along comes the World Economic Forum's annual self-help retreat for international fraudsters. January brings both snow and the WEF to Davos - the place where robbers mock the robbed and globalist wet-dreams come true. From Monday 15th till Friday 19th everyslug who's anyslug will be there, hatching plans, shaking tentacles and laying eggs in the throats of unwary mouth-breathers.


While much of europe is collapsing beneath the full-court press of globalism, Switzerland in January is still a great place to be rich. Flunkies hop, creep and grovel in greeting as bullet-proof supercars disgorge all the unusual suspects plus assorted minders, companions, acolytes and catamites. Great electrified gates swing open, beckoning the overlords of finance inward to a billionaires banquet where the privileged few can swig cocktails of virgin's blood (allegedly) en route to an agreeable carnivorous feast. Afterwards there will be hand-ground Colombian coffee, 50 year-old brandy and Cuban cigars in underground vaults where 100 year-old fiends can reunite to compare face-lifts and simian implant-scars.

But the circus needs more roadies than ringmasters. Just a few blocks away, where a stony single bunk for the night is a mere $330, humbler Swiss hotels are groaning under the weight of two thousand dedicated laptop-monkeys with masters degrees from the University of Eternal Debt. These are the Schlaves of Schwab, the schoy-boys and girls who organise the schedules and scheminars. They eat and drink purely for health, not pleasure, work a schixteen-hour day and pretend to abschtain from schex. 

Sponsored by every corrupt NGO on the planet, these woke young WEFties are essential for the maintainance of public relations. Their job is to create the illusion of a vast, overarching organisation that draws on the talent and vigour of youthful idealists from all corners of the globe. So the after-party selfies are guaranteed to include lots of diverse, bright-eyed PHD-ophiles  from Oxbridge, Ivy-League universities, MIT, Harvard, Goldman Sachs and Blackrock. 

It goes without saying that this crowd will include a truly spellbinding array of lesbian women of colour, the perma-smirking offspring of Asian entrepreneurs, a handful of African mineral-princes and a flock of flamboyant cockatoos from the LGBT2+kfc&P community. As they like to sing (when nobody's looking)- 

“You fly around the world with a laptop on your knees / From Davos to the UN and the climate jamborees / You've never had a job outside of universi-tee / Get your money for nothing and your jabs for free”

There are untold legions of these graduate goblins, armed to the teeth with rainbow -stripe data visualisations, zig-zag predictions and dot-to-dot flow-charts. Their unique version of speech is a hobbling centipede of cliches, buzz-words, catch phrases and sheer unadulterated waffle that starts in the middle of nothing and takes you on a long and winding road to nowhere.

Do not be seduced by the volume of WEF guff. The Forum itself is a smokescreen, a carefully-crafted sideshow of distraction, a swirling school of paper-pushing minnows chasing each other’s tails from conference to conference. The real sharks move unseen, in the shadowy uplit pools, swapping suitcases in VIP privacy, carving up the loot from last year's jobs.

THE GLOBAL RISKS REPORT 2024

As we explained last year, the real WEF is a locked private room where creatures like the CEO of Pfizer can cuddle President Zelensky on a sofa still warm from Bill Gates' hairy bum. But you won't be hearing about that in The Global Risks Report (TGRR).

Under inspection, this document is little more than a bedwetter’s guide to post-millenial angst. For all its turgid prose and pompous blag, TGRR is nevertheless the nearest thing we can get to a glimpse of the Schwabian mind at work. His faithful minions have been tasked with cobbling it together every year since 2005, so lets take a glance at all 120-odd pages to see what kind of soap the WEF expects us to swallow this time round. I downloaded the PDF and read the entire thing -so you don't have to- but there's a link below where you can get your very own copy if you're a glutton for Globaldigook.

[ WEF TGRR CLICK HERE ]

Because Globaldigook is, alas, the language in which the Risks Report is presented. Veterans of the eerily similar bilge churned out every month by the United Nations will recognise the style. So why not start at the very beginning, which is -as another Teutonic refugee once said- a very good place to start.

Gazing implacably at the reader from the Preface page are the eyes of the fragrant Saadia Zahidi, no less.  I never before met a report that needed a 'Managing Director' but Saadia is proudly wearing that title for all the world to see. I can tell you very little about her, except that she is a citizen of both Pakistan and Switzerland, which sounds like an ideal scenario for someone attracted by the idea of regular anonymous bank deposits. She announces-

As 2024 begins, the 19th edition of the report is set against a backdrop of rapidly accelerating technological change and economic uncertainty, as the world is plagued by a duo of dangerous crises: climate and conflict.”

I’d say the world has been plagued by considerably more dangerous duos - Simon and Garfunkel spring to mind- but that’s beside the point. Saadia continues-

Underlying geopolitical tensions combined with the eruption of active hostilities in multiple regions is contributing to an unstable global order characterized by polarizing narratives, eroding trust and insecurity.”

I must confess, if you put a gun to my head I couldn’t explain how to go about eroding trust and insecurity, but I haven’t got a bachelor's degree in economics from Smith College, a master's in international economics from Graduate Institute Geneva and an MPA from Harvard, like Saadia. Incidentally, the ‘eruption of active hostilities in multiple regions’ is a most elegant way of evading the word “wars”, don’t you think?

Anyway, give yourself a pat on the heat-pump if you guessed what would be the next item on the Global Risk list, because it turns out “At the same time, countries are grappling with the impacts of record-breaking extreme weather.” Yes, you guessed, it’s that ol’ Groundhog Day slop we see belching from mainstream media every hour of every week. We are confronted, yet again, by the globalist bucket-list of incoming doom, and to be honest it’s downhill all the way from here on to the AI apocalypse on page 82.

But before the Risk Report degenerates into the real nitty gritty (glorified pie-charts and meaningless tables of uncheckable data-analysis) our heroine is unafraid to voice some of the Great Questions of our time. I have done my humble best to offer appropriate responses.

Saadia Zahidi : Could we catapult to a 3°C world as the impacts of climate change intrinsically rewrite the planet?”

ME : Could you explain the concept of “intrinsically rewriting” to someone who has been writing for over half a century? In words of one syllable?

Saadia Zahidi: Have we reached the peak of human development for large parts of the global population, given deteriorating debt and geo-economic conditions?”

ME: If the WEF Global Risks Report 2024 is a product of ‘the peak of human development’ I am a snapper turtle in a tank filled with gin.

Saadia Zahidi: Could we face an explosion of criminality and corruption that feeds on more fragile states and more vulnerable populations?”

ME: Do bears shit after a curry?

But -seriously- there is no getting past the wisdom bestowed on us by the poly-qualificational phenomenon that is, lest we forget, Managing Director of this 121-page howl of existential terror. Harnessing all the muscular force brought to her academic marathons, Saadia observes -“The future is not fixed. A multiplicity of different futures is conceivable over the next decade.”

We breathe again. God bless you sweet master!

There is much, much more to the Global Risks Report -another 118 pages at least- mostly hinting at the WEF's naked desire for a single world government. To access an extended version of this post on our new Substack site, please CLICK HERE. Looking forward to seeing you.  


Ian Andrew Patrick

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