Ukraine & Israel Are Squid Wars -Not Ours

With elections coming, and fear porn in full-swing, SQUID WARS ARE GO! Be Alert. Stare east at Kiev, hiss and boo at the Russkies! Gaze south upon Gaza, see the dead infants, look, look! (Pay no attention to the 100,000 bloodthirsty fanatics marching in London). Attention, citizens! No price is too high to pay, so long as we defend the sacred borders of... (some other country). Because nothing matters as much as the people from...(everywhere else).

It's not coincidental that America's President and Britain's Prime Minister are both squiddy little fakes who are actually in charge of nothing. Both the US and UK are just local franchises of an invisible corporate squid farm. Every squid has 2 arms and 10 tentacles. One tentacle for food, two for drugs, three for weapons and four for climate change. The arms are there so it can scratch itself on the back. 

The Mighty Corporate Squid rules in the dark, by stealth. It is slippery, a master of disguise, unelectable, and therefore unremovable. Under pressure, it will pump out a lot of ink to confuse you, as readers of the Daily Mail already know.

Mini-squid, like the Bidens and the Sunaks, exist only to keep the smokescreens smoking.Their task is to climb up the squid parade, wear silly hats for photo-ops and  make "announcements" -all of them complete and utter nonsense. Because creatures like Biden, Trudeau, Macron and Starmer -the only ones you are allowed to elect- will never lift so much as one tentacle to protect you from the squid. They are born of the squid, spawn of the squid, part of a global family of oily squidlings. It doesn't matter who or what you vote for, squid is what you'll get.

We have local squid as well. Wales, Ireland and Scotland all have their very own special fried squid right at the top of the political menu. Switch on your TV and watch them go, a bit like fish in a tank. On most programmes you only get to see your politicians from the waist up, but that's because while their arms are waving in the air, their tentacles are wriggling down on the floor.

And talking of Wales, haven't they slithered a long way up the squiddy globalist pole? Last month the Welsh government turned about ten thousand miles of completely empty roads into the world's largest 20mph zone to please the climate gods. This week brought a huge Muslim pro-Palestine March onto the streets of Cardiff, of all places. At this rate they'll be swapping leeks for lemons in solidarity with the fruit farmers of Lebanon, look you. 

By the way, did you know there are more Muslims in Britain than there are in Lebanon? [See THIS 3 minute video] How about that for a fun fact? Not that it matters, of course, because diversity is our strength. Or is it Islam? I'm not entirely sure which, but Sir Kier Starmsquid will probably explain all that when he becomes Prime Mini-squid after next year's general selection. And General Kier won't be taking any nonsense from the likes of Johnny Israel, believe me.  

Because it's not as if huge gatherings of irate Muslims demanding a genocidal assault on the Jewish state is anything to worry about. At least, not according to London's Metropolitan Police, who explained on Sunday that it's not an "offence" to chant for something called "Jihad" in relation to Israel. Nobody gets arrested for that, right? 

It turns out that London's highly qualified language police are profoundly aware of nuances attached to this word that the rest of us illiterate dumbos had missed. Apparently, it's fine to chant "Jihad" in an anti-Israel demo, because the word Jihad has "a number of meanings." Fantastic news, I'd say, for any wanabee suicide-bomber drying out his track suit in his hotel bedroom. No need to speak in code now, eh?

On a literary note, other words with a number of meanings that are worth noting: filth; pigs; slag. Having said which, here's some light relief in the form of my 2018 Youtube video Londonistan - click below for 2 full minutes of light-hearted Jihadification...

War, of course, is a two-way street, and Israel's gain is Ukraine's loss. Before the Jewish casualties had even been counted the world's most successful beggar was on the phone from Kiev offering himself for celebrity TV slots.  I had to laugh when Israel's PM told President Zelensquid to EFF OFF- as in absolutely DO NOT visit Israel right now, thankyou very much. Do not pass Go, do NOT collect 6 billion dollars. You can't blame the Israelis -Ukraine's already hoovered up about half a trillion in free tanks, mines, missiles and rockets. So butt out, Zelbo, it's Israel's turn now, got it? 

Mind you, thinking about those famous Ukrainian squaddies - the rough, tough ones with all the stylish retro tattooes -YOU KNOW VOT I MEAN, JA, MEIN FREUNDE? -yes, thinking about those characters, you can kind of see why the Jewish people might not be falling over each other to link arms. 

Unless, of course, the arms concerned were nuclear. Because Israel, in case you need reminding, has absolutely oodles of atomic missiles and nobody in particular to fire them at. Well not yet, but you get the feeling somebody somewhere might just be drafting a short list. Funny thing is, it seems like only yesterday that Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netenyahu was cosying right up to the monsters formerly known as Hamas.  

Cast your mind back, if you dare, to March 2019 - and remember, that was a whole 12 months before you locked your granny in her bedroom and taped a nappy to your face. It so happens that in the  corona-free spring of 2019,  Benjamin Netenyahu was, believe it or not, announcing his alliance with Hamas, in a speech to the Israeli Parliament -quote “Anyone who wants to thwart the establishment of a Palestinian state has to support bolstering Hamas and transferring money to Hamas. This is part of our strategy..."[SEE THIS for details]

How queer. It's almost as if crafty old Benjamin has been bankrolling both sides of the Israel/Palestine conflict all along, isn't it? Mind you, there's a grand old tradition of that kind of behaviour in geo-politics. Let's not forget what George Bush's grandad was doing for his business partners in Germany back in 1941. Yes -1941- two years after the second world war had kicked off. So it's not like Benjy is breaking any ground or anything. Makes you think, though.

Anyway, with exquisite timing, South Korea chose this October to host its first ever international arms fair -which you probably didn't notice because people like the BBC  are paid to pretend that kind of thing only happens in civilised places like London. All the top dogs were there, apparently -Raytheon, Lockheed Martin, Boeing, you know, all the good guys -and business, they say, was brisk. [CLICK HERE for details]

Which isn't surprising, what with Turkey, Syria, Iran and Qatar already kitted up to the nines in hi-tech weapons with nowhere to go. Because there is a rather uneasy feeling in several of the peace-loving European countries that used to sing the praises of how the glorious EU would spare us the horrors of war.

Germany in particular, is a teeny bit miffed since America blew their gas pipeline to hell a year ago.[AS WE EXCLUSIVELY REPORTED HERE] Finland's bargain-price gas pipeline got the same treatment, last week, incidentally, not that anyone seemed to think it worth reporting. The Italians -perilously close to dear old Africa- have just about had it with African benefit-tourism. The atmosphere in Brussels, I hear, is a bit like Saturday afternoon in a south London pub before a Millwall home game. That is to say, everyone with any sense is tooling up.

So it's an ill wind, I suppose, now those naughty Korean scamps are knocking out their own brand of flash/bang wallop -and at discount prices too. It's almost anybody's guess who's got the most missiles now -except it isn't, actually. Russia have the most, and their new best friends in China are in a hurry to catch up. 

But hang on, you may ask, what has any of this got to do with the price of butter? We-ell, it's kind of all connected, you see, because almost everything in our fancy western homesteads comes from far, far away. And what brings this stuff to us is oil. And all the best oil-fields are...well, we all know where they are, don't we. Remember the bad old days (last year) when gasoline was rising in price every 12 hours? Get ready for Petrol Wars 2 -THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL!  

Still, if you're already bankrupt, unemployed, struggling on a pension or living at taxpayer's expense in a Premier Inn while your visa gets sorted, nothing much will change. So long as you're not in a hurry to go anywhere else, that is. The blessed Welfare State will take care of you, as will the Notional Health Service. After the next election I expect the Labour Party will find there are still quite a few squid left in the Bank of England.  

Ian Andrew-Patrick

Many thanks to readers for supporting 99EndOf. Our continued existence depends on visitors spreading the links and information among their friends and colleagues. Please do likewise whenever you can.

99endof supports no political party or ideology. The individual is what matters here, and the freedoms for which we are now obliged to fight.